God I’m messed up.

If you’ve read my post “unavailable bitch” then u can probably tell that I’ve got some issues when it comes to guys. Recently, I met a guy named Cole. He stood up for me when no one else would. Later that night he got my number and now I guess were talking but the thing is that I don’t know if I’m attracted to him. He’s the sweetest person and everything about him is what I’ve been drooling over in movies yet I’m not as excited as I should be. He even tells me exactly how he feels so I’m never anxious and he doesn’t even look at other girls. On paper he’s perfect but in reality I’m just not sure. It makes me wonder if maybe I need a little jealousy or angst to develop some kind if lust. I know–that’s rediculous and I’m a hypocritical idiot no wonder I’m single, but it’s just a feeling I can’t seem to shake…


2 thoughts on “God I’m messed up.

  1. I’m mostly of the opinion that if you’re feeling unsure then there’s something wrong or something missing. While you seem more inclined to find fault with yourself maybe you shouldn’t be so harsh. I spent 4 years with one guy feeling uncertain off and on and only after it ended and I met someone who never left me feeling that way did I stop blaming myself.

    • Yea your right I’m just not sure if I feel anything for him and I’m afraid that if I try this anyway I’ll end up either hurting him by leading him on or worse feeling trapped which often happens to me. Thanks for your input though! It means a lot

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